Opposites Attract

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I like Britney, he likes Gaga.

I like movies, he likes video games.

I like walking, he likes running.

These are just a few examples of the everyday battles we face because of our completely opposite tastes! At times it can be quite frustrating, especially when I want to watch a film and he looks like he’d rather rub his face on a cheese grater. But in the long run, I think it’s good that we are so different. He may think I am stubborn and set in my ways (which I am), but the truth is I really value his opinion, and it often challenges me to re-evaluate my stand on things, even if it doesn’t always come across.

And I like to think that the same goes for him. I’ve seen a big difference in him since we’ve been together. for example, I’m a neat freak and hate a messy house, whereas he used to have a very ‘relaxed’ approach to housekeeping. But nowadays he probably does more housework than me. He’s always washing dishes and clothes! And I’ve also developed a more lenient approach to what I consider messy.

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I remember an episode of Modern Family that was about whether people can change or not. When asked how much people could change, Mitchell replied “People are who they are, give or take 15 percent. That’s how much people can change if they really want to. Whether it is for themselves or for the people they love.” This always stuck with me. 15%. Is it a lot? Is it not enough? Is it realistic? I don’t know what your opinion is on the subject, but for me, I came to the conclusion that I would be happy to be 15% adaptable. It’s a good percentage to aim for! It’s high enough to see a difference, but not so much that you lose yourself in the process. And for the one I love, I will more than willingly try to get up to that 15% in order to make him happy, because I know he is willing to do the same for me. Sometimes I may fall short, but I really try. 

And this mentality has worked out well for us when it comes to the tricky parts. But it’s funny because even though we have our differences, in other ways we are so in-sync. We have the same dark sense of humour. We often finish each others sentences. We have the same fashion sense and are always stealing each others clothes. And I can almost always tell what he’s thinking and he knows me really well too. These natural similarities are the reason we were so attracted to one another in the first place, and the differences only help to make these connections that much more special.

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We may still argue about what takeout to get, and we are always on opposite sides during a celebrity argument, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. I love him because he is so different to me. It keeps me on my toes. And making up after a heated argument can be quite thrilling too!

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Secret Love Song: A Secret Love Story

Men in love

Little Mix released their new album just over two weeks ago, and there is one song that for me personally stands out above the rest.

On the deluxe edition of the album ‘Get Weird’, you will find a stunning little number, tucked away in the tail end of the collection. Secret Love Song, Pt II is a wonderful ballad about, well, a secret love.

On first listen, I picked up on the main themes of the song because of the heartbreaking lyrics:

You and I both have to hide on the outside
Where I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine

Straight away, I felt a connection to the lyrics. It reminded me of the time before I came out. I had been with my boyfriend (now husband) for a few months. We were actually already living together! But still, I hadn’t admitted to a large part of my family that I was gay. At the time I was living far away from my mother & sister (who already knew), and I felt it was important not to rock the boat or let my religious family members know in case they didn’t react well.

It’s quite funny looking back now, because we were actually really good at sneaking around. My family helped me move into my new house, not even realising that I was moving in with my boyfriend! But as amusing as it is now, I remember it was actually really frustrating at times having to keep such a huge secret.

I had met the love of my life and I couldn’t even share it with my loved ones. We would go out, and I would always be looking over my shoulder, worrying someone would recognise me. I hesitantly held his hand in public, but I could never relax.

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Eventually, I came out to everyone very publicly on Facebook. It was a massive relief, not to be afraid of showing affection to the man I loved. Most of my family didn’t react very well, and I lost contact with a lot of them over my relationship, but it was the best thing I’ve ever done. The freedom it gave me was incredible, and even though there was some negativity, I was mostly met with a loving response.

This song reminds me of how far I’ve come and the lengths I’ve gone through to prove that my love is something special. Unfortunately, there are still many people who have to live their lives in secret, afraid of being rejected, or even worse, killed for loving who they love.

I’m posting this song and my story because it really touched my heart, and I wanted anyone else out there who relates to this  in some way to know that who you love shouldn’t have to be a secret, especially because you just can’t help it.

PS: Thank you Little Mix for such a great song and embracing it as an LGBT love anthem. ❤